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For My Sisters offers help to women in domestic violent situations
as well as ideas on how to live safe, how to leave safe and how to rebuild your life after abuse.
I met my husband through mutual friends at work. He was handsome, charming, funny, well dressed, and saved!
He was always helpful to me and my two children. (I was raising Ina's youngest daughter.) We found a house. Our dream house; bought it and moved in 30 days from the day that we first fell in love with it.
On the same day we were married, he made a special note to let me know who was in charge and who was going to be running things from now on!
Because he had been nothing like that in the past, I let it go, thinking he must be joking, but it was not a joke. He continued with mean jesters, saying nasty things to me, calling me while I was at appointments with customers. Not wanting me to go out of town to work (we had the same occupation). He knew that I was not cheating, although he accused me of it constantly.
Then the pushing and the shoving started. He started to dictate to my kids, having them do very unreasonable things under the name of “chores” or taking on responsibilities, like having my son clean the pool in December!
I tell you, I was still walking around in a daze. I could not believe this was happening to me. That I could end up in a situation like this one, but I was.
The last straw was when I went to dinner with two of the salesmen that worked for me. I was their boss and we were discussing business, but deep down I just wanted to get out of the house for a while, and of course, he accused me of sleeping with not one, but both of them. When I got home that evening we had a knock down drag out FIGHT! He picked me up and threw me across the room. I missed the edge of the brick fireplace by inches. I knew that I had to go. I found a lawyer to take my case. I moved out and stayed with friends until my case was filed. Since I knew he was not going to leave until he was forced to, I made sure that everyone knew what was going on and that we were getting a divorce. I locked my door at night and kept 911 on speed dial. I was very lucky that he was afraid of the police (like most abusers), so he pretty much left me alone. I was sure that during the waiting period for the divorce to be final, he would try to make me change my mind or torcher me until I would leave the house and everything in it to him.
Again I was lucky, a friend of mine gave me the money to pay for my divorce, BUT the divorce went along very quickly! The look on his face when I came home with his copy of the final divorce decree was priceless.
I cannot say it enough that I was lucky. The most danger to an abuse victim is when they try to leave their abuser. The FBI says that 75% of women who try to leave are murdered by their abusers. You must develop a safety plan so that when you know you are gone for good, you will know where you are going, how you will get there, and how you will sustain your family while you are there if you have children.
Most shelters will help you find housing, legal help and medical assistance if you need it.
Part of your plan should be to get the information about a shelter near you and keep it in a safe place outside the home where your abuser cannot find it. Remember you cannot go back to that house for ANYTHING!
“IMGF is a life saving information highway for victims of domestic abuse.”
Phone: 214-403-1132 Fax 972-362-6254;
Email us at: imgf_fms@yahoo.com
You don't need to be a victum. We are here to help you find shelter, legal assistance, medical assistance, anything you need to start over, safely. We will work with you until you no longer need our help!
www.inamaegreene.com
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3244
Listen to shows recorded before 2/1/2010 on Talkshoe
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