5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Their Man
(A crash course in his-story)
Okay. There are more than five. But these five can help you understand your man and how to keep the basic foundation of peace and harmony consistent in your relationship. Disobey at your own risk.
1) TELL US EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT – I know you want us to be mind readers and it makes perfect sense really, if the world was just about you, but it is not. So, we may take the initiative from time to time, and sometimes surprise the #@%& out of you. Most of those times are by accident or just plan luck and should not be considered a pattern. We will ultimately disappoint you if you do so and that is not fun for both of us. We are by nature – point and shoot. We’re like robots in this area and we are not offended by this comparison. It makes everyone’s life much easier because we tend to guess wrong and end up paying for it dearly.
2) TELL US WHAT YOU WANT BUT NOT HOW TO DO IT – This may seem strange to you because you feel that a natural extension to telling us what you want is then how to do it. This is where you run into a major roadblock. We are not like you. We do things our own way and have a unique thought process that makes no sense to you. Some of us don’t understand it either, but it is in our DNA as men so we go with it. Can you?
3) ACKNOWLEDGE THE GOOD – Because we do things differently we tend to do, then, hope for a small bone of acknowledgment. This really encourages us to do more. Yes, in that way we are like a circus animal or a dog, eager to perform but wanting to be praised and acknowledged for doing simple tasks, that you tend to do in groups of twenty and while you are sleeping. You ask us to fix the running toilet and it may seem like no big deal to you to take the lid off the toilet bowl and jiggle the handle around a few times. But do you have any clue how hard it is to remember exactly where to put all the chachkas of dead flowers, decorative soap and other and crap you inherited from your grandmother that sits on top of the lid? We know you will notice things out of place and suddenly the sound of a now quiet toilet will be filled with us hearing about yet a new scratch in Grandma Erna’s ceramic dish.
4) IF YOU ASK US TO DELIVER A MESSAGE, DON’T ASK US TO REPEAT THE MESSAGE WE DELIVERED – We followed you pretty much word for word, took some notes for good measure, and told this person exactly what you wanted us to tell them. Now, let it go. It is not okay to come back to us to confirm the message was delivered and then ask us – “what did you say?” It undermines our sense of responsibility, and is the equivalent of taking a pair of garden shears and trimming us down for winter. And that cute thing you say, “I am a girl and I need to know these things.” No you don’t. It’s done. Fagetaboutit!
5) REMIND US TO THINK SMALL – We tend to believe that if we can’t deliver you the entire island that a little sand would mean nothing. Many of us suffer from more-ness, the constant pursuit of something more than we have and a lot more than the next guy. It makes sense that while we are trying to deliver the goods we lose sight of the simple, the ordinary, the card for no reason, the flower on your desk, the poem that came to us in the shower, remembering that you like Pez but only in the Wonder Woman dispenser and only cherry. We enjoy watching you light up like a Christmas tree in these moments. So, just find some way to remind us to think small. Maybe send us a card.
Mitch Newman, M.A. is The Relationship Coach. He works with couples worldwide utilizing his dynamic Scripting™ Process to help them reconnect and deepen their relationships. He can be reached at mitch@therelationshipcoachisin.com or at 310.225.2222
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