“They don’t know where they go,” he said.
“Where what go?” my friend asked.
“The sperm.” This was his reason for not having the vasectomy he’d promised to get while she was in labor with their second kid. He continued, “My cousin had a vasectomy and he died.”
“Of lung cancer!” she exclaimed.
The irony is that he knocked up the woman he later began seeing on the side. Maybe if he’d kept his promise to have that little snip, he wouldn’t have been busted. Just as well. As a friend, I say he was a snake and she is better off without him.
As a relationship coach, I try to see both sides. Okay, I have to admit that this guy’s given excuse for reneging is beyond lame. I guess he’d rather look stupid than admit he was afraid of a procedure that messed with his most prized possession. Is there any doubt that if men had to go through childbirth, we’d all be only children? My nerves.
Well, one sure thing, until my friend cooled off, there was one place his sperm weren’t going!
Michelle Obama is one smart cookie. She made her hubby, the prez, promise to give up smoking if she’d let him run for office. Rumor has it he’s an occasional backslider. Some might say he’s quasi-keeping his promise. I say, it’s like being pregnant. You either is or you isn’t! She’s already delivered on her end of the deal. What’s she going to do if Barack is busted with ashtray breath? Make him resign? One can only speculate that her response to his occasional backsliding may be very similar to my friend’s I-don-t-think-so-not-tonight response to her hubby’s broken promise to get snipped.
It’s easy to make promises. Maybe too easy given how important keeping our word is to being trusted. When you say, “I will [fill in the blank],” you’ve made a promise to [fill in the blank]. Breaking the biggies, e.g., the promise of fidelity, will land you in divorce court by the count of three. Breaking little promises does the same thing. It just takes longer. We all have memory lapses. It’s not a federal offense to forget a stop at the dry cleaners—unless it’s the bazillionth time you’ve “forgotten” to run that errand, pick up your wet towel, pay the cable bill, take the kids to the park, put gas in the car, mow the lawn before your in-laws arrive, schedule an appointment with your CPA, take the dog to the vet, clean the garage, sew the button on his shirt, pick up a carton of milk, make a bank deposit, and so on and so on ad infinitum. A promise made should be a promise kept. Trust is the foundation for every intimate relationship. That trust is built one tiny kept promise on top of another.
Which reminds me . . . I promised hubby Dale I’d pick up some toothpaste. Gotta run! Oh, does anybody know where the sperm do go?
Shela Dean is a Relationship Happiness Coach, speaker and author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy to be released in September 2009. For more information, visit Frequent Foreplay Miles
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