The Public Mommy. We have all seen them. You know the type. The mommy in the grocery store whose kid is having a nuclear meltdown in the candy aisle. She patiently unloads her cart at the checkout stand while her child is throwing himself on the floor having a temper tantrum that would make even Rosemary’s baby look calm.
On my last excursion to the market I crossed paths with Public Mommy. I was in line behind her and her charge. God bless this woman. She was so stoic through her sons meltdown I began to wonder if she were human at all. Kicking and screaming, spitting at his mother and shouting “NO” at the top of his lungs. The Public Mommy patiently tells Jr. to stand up or he will have to sit in time out once he gets home. Unfazed by the threat, Jr. pulls out the entire box of Sour Patch Kids and throws them at the cashier. Public Mommy apologizes to the cashier adding “He gets a bit testy when its close to naptime”.
But Public Mommy keeps her composure, never flinching once to roll her eyes or even sigh. I mean really. It was so bad the cashier didn’t scan half her items just to get her out of there. Ok, I exaggerate on that a bit, but you get the idea. This kid was D-O-N-E. Instead of watching Jr. I found myself focused on Public Mommy. She was holding it together pretty good, or so I thought. I could see the cracks in the façade. She was embarrassed, tired, and down right ticked off. I noticed she had a fist full of coupons, but she was so ready to get out of there she skipped them. She paid the four thousand dollar grocery bill and headed out. As she exited the store, half the people in line sighed so loudly you could have powered a small city with the energy the wind expelled.
I always wonder about what Public Mommy does when she gets to the mini van. Does she turn to her sweet baby and explain how when mommy says no, it means no. Does she reiterate to Jr. the appropriate way to behave when we are in public. Maybe Public Mommy feels that just ignoring Jr. was the correct message to send.
As it turned out I had parked next to Public Mommy. She had loaded her groceries in her mini van and was trying to get Jr. in the car seat. He was still thrashing about like a bucking bronco and that’s when it happened. Public Mommy became Human Mommy. She clicked the seat belt, wagging her finger in Jr‘s face and saying through clenched teeth, “Just wait ‘till your father gets home young man”, and closed the van door.
She went to the back of the vehicle and sank down on the bumper. As I unloaded my cart our eyes met and she looked at me and said, “I am never having any more children, and I’m calling my husband right now to tell him we’re not even going to have sex ever again…just in case.”
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