From Glamour magazine, 11
Things Guys Just Don’t Understand about Women, it seems that the
biggest beef men have with women is that they can’t understand our style of
communication. Seriously, six of the
eleven things were about communication!
Men and women have very different styles of communication. I know, newsflash, right? Let me break it down and offer some tips to
improve communication between the sexes.
There are five major differences in communication between men and women,
in my personal experience.
This is the fourth in a series of five. “What’s on your mind?” When a woman asks a man that and he says,
“nothing” she doesn’t believe him. So
she makes up all kinds of stories, or sulks that he doesn’t trust her enough to
share his deepest thoughts with her.
It’s inconceivable to a woman that her man might actually be thinking
about nothing, or at least nothing significant.
Listen up ladies, they’re telling the
truth! Our brains are programmed
differently than men’s brains. We’re
wired to multi-task, they’re not. That’s
true for our thoughts as well. We tend
to have ten or twelve tracks of thought happening at any one time. They’ll have one. Their brains are more linear than ours (again,
a generalization, but a good one). This
doesn’t mean they’re simple, just focused.
It took me years before I finally believed
my husband about this. This doesn’t mean
they’re incapable of deep thought, but if they’re engaged in a line of deep
thought, that’s all they’ll be doing. If
your guy has just come home from work and flopped onto the couch, he’s likely
“dumping” all thoughts of work and clearing his mind. It’s kind of like a computer—the memory gets
full and you have to delete the old files before you can work on new ones;
whereas a woman’s mind is more like a network computer. She can go out into the ethers and store
files, all while still engaging in a conversation, making dinner, and keeping
track of the kids.
A perfect example of this occurred between
my husband and me just the other day. We
were sitting at a lakeside restaurant, having a drink. We had just been talking about marriage and
divorce. I’ve been trying to convince
him that we should get a divorce… unsuccessfully. I love him deeply; I’m just not that fond of
being married. He knows it has nothing
to do with our love for each other, so we were having a really good discussion
about it. There was a lull in the
conversation, and I noticed he was staring down into the lake. I asked him what he was thinking about, and
he replied, “Fish.” I looked
down, and sure enough, there was a school of fish! I believed him, but there was a time earlier
in our relationship when I wouldn’t have.
I would have been worried about what he was “really” thinking; had I
somehow upset him? Was he angry at me
for bringing up the subject again?
My advice:
next time you ask your partner what he’s thinking, be prepared to
believe him.
Johanna Lyman is an
Abundance Coach, Channel for Divine Love and Wisdom, and an Intuitive
Healer. She is the author of the
Messenger Mini Book, Attracting Abundance:
Four Powerful Practices to Align Your Life With Your Life’s
Purpose. She can be reached at Johanna@johannalyman.com or
774-262-4211. www.johannalyman.com
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