Some facts that every parent should know about teen dating violence is that 72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly "date” by the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating violence amongst their peers. And, 1 in 5 high school girls have been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
Teen Dating violence has the same look, feel and sometimes the same consequences that adult domestic violence has; emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse all exist in teen dating violence.
According to the FBI, 20% of homicide victims are between the ages of fifteen and twenty four.
Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk for injury, they are also more likely to engage in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and sexual activity.
One out of every three women murdered in the United States each year is killed by a husband or boyfriend. Even if an abusive boyfriend does not intend to kill his girlfriend, he can accidentally kill her with hard shoves and threats with a weapon.
Many victims of dating violence believe their partner’s violence is a sign of love. The fact is jealousy and violence is not a sign of love.
Today’s teens do not view “dating” in the same terms as their parents. Teens refer to intimate (usually sexual) relationships where two people actually see themselves as a couple utilizing terms such as - “seeing each other”, “going with”, or “kicking it.”
Girls feel pressured to do what their boyfriends want even if it hurts them. They often feel pressured to have sex.
The pressure comes from mistaken ideas about sex and relationships; for example, teen girls often believe that if a guy takes her out she is “obligated” to have sex with him, even if she doesn’t want it. In our society there is a lot of peer pressure on young men to be sexually active and sometimes sexually aggressive, with girls. Boy’s feel it is their role to dominate and to control their girlfriends’ behavior, friends and activities.
These young men are looking for approval from their male friends and respect for being “the boss” in the relationship.
Teenagers generally do not tell people when they are involved in a violent relationship. So it is very important for adults to be alert and look for signs that a teen may be involved in relationship that is, or has the potential to become abusive.
Teens in abusive relationships often carry these unhealthy patterns of violence into future relationships. It is necessary to pay attention to any warning signs that your daughter could be in an abusive relationship:
- Does the boyfriend seem to try to control your daughter’s behavior, making all of the decisions, monitoring her schedule, demanding to know who she’s been with, acting jealous and possessive?
- Does the boyfriend lash out, criticize, or insult your daughter?
- Does your daughter apologize for her boyfriend’s behavior to you and others? Has your daughter casually mentioned her boyfriends temper or violent behavior, but then laughed it off as a joke?
- Has your daughter lost interest in things that were once important? Has she lost interest in school, friends or other activities?
My name is Darlene Greene and I am the founder of the Ina Mae Greene Foundation/For My Sisters.
User Comments
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10:50 AM Kimberly Jones | |
Thanks so much for this safty tip. It's so important that our young women understand the signs of domestic violence. I have a teenage daugther that will start dating and I will definatly print this for her to read. Thanks so much | |
